A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
