TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
