tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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