I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
