he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
