I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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