I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
