I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
