I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
