I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
