Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
