omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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