I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
