so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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