I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
