Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
