Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
