I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
