If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
