You really coming over, don't trick.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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