then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
