Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
A+ Viking dick
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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