Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
