then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize