drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
