Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
