You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
