i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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