Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
