was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
