I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You were trust falling into bushes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
