Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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