happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
