I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
