Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
