Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
