I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Randomize
