He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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