I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
