i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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