Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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