we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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