i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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