I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
