Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
