she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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