im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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