im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
