The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
