i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
