he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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