I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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