Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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