I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
