I'm gonna have a badass scar
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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